What Kindness Actually Costs

Everyone says "be kind" like it's free. It isn't.

Kindness costs attention — which is one of the rarest things any of us have to spend. It costs the time to actually listen instead of waiting to speak. It costs the decision to say something true when something flattering would have been easier.

Most of all, kindness costs the willingness to be wrong. To say: I was unkind before, I didn't realise it, I want to do better.

This is expensive. People don't talk about this because we want kindness to be simple — a choice you make once, a character trait you either have or don't. But it isn't. It's a practice. And like all practices, it requires something from you every single time.

The reason I keep paying is that the returns are better than anything else I've tried.

Some thoughts are too small for essays and too important to leave unwritten.